Moai

Lapis indifferens

A stone head from Rapa Nui, now the internet’s deadpan face.

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The real science

The creature is invented. These parts are real.

Moving moai: In a 2012 experiment, 18 people “walked” a 4.35-ton moai replica 100 meters in 40 minutes, using ropes to rock it side to side. Smithsonian Magazine
Volcanic tuff: All but 53 of Rapa Nui’s more than 900 moai were carved from volcanic tuff at one quarry, Rano Raraku. Wikipedia

Print notes

Scale down from four meters. Your printer is not that big.

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Field data

Habitat: Rapa Nui, the end of every awkward sentence
First observed: About 1250 CE
Diet: None
Call: None. Only the stare.
Composition: Volcanic tuff, about 12 tonnes.

Conservation status

EXEWCRENVUNTLC

Least concern. Has outlived every trend.

Field notes

Carved by the Rapa Nui people centuries ago and reborn as 🗿, the reply for when words fail. The oldest specimen in this guide by about seven hundred years, and the only one on the UNESCO World Heritage List.